the confusing post by the confuse one

I know it's been a long long time since I last blog. I have a lot of things in my mind and it's all chaotic.

I've finished my internship yesterday. I do not know whether I am happy or not.

Happy that I finally get to get the hell out of there?

Sad that it's over?

I had gone through lots of things during my internship. It had been going up and down, just like a wave. I am also unsure whether I'm glad that I chose this company. It was fun running those events and working with the crews. But I really hate it when there is office politics and bitchy boss. aiks. Ok. It's over.

There's another thing that is over. It's my brain. I've been thinking a lot, like really lots! I have so many confusions in my head and I just wish I could let it all out and shut myself down. I think I'm having some mental illness until I feel like losing myself. I really wish there is someone I could talk to and not give me some bullshit answer. I've lost my faith in nearly everything. I do not know what is real or not, which I'm suppose to listen and not. I'm really confuse. I feel really lost. Maybe it's because I've been lying to myself for too long, or maybe those are not lies and I've think too much again. See? That's my problem there!

It was hard living these few days.

I had to put on a fake smile on my face when I'm actually not happy at all.

How can I be stable when everything's not?

I really wish there is a solution for me...

Like sis said, there are sunshines after every thunderstorm.

Where the fuck is my sunshine?!!

p/s- pls ignore me. I'm just trying to let everything out. in a better way